Physical abuse is the most noticeable to which many sympathise with, judging from the wounds or scars inflicted by an abuser. Many easily associate emotional cause to the amount of punches received by a victim and almost nobody recognises the emotional pain suffered from verbal abuse.
There is the need to be selective with what comes out of the mouth to avoid inflicting pain to those around us. This is not just within romantic relationships, it goes to all kinds of relationships, including how parents address their children, how children address parents, teacher to student and vice versa, work colleagues and even at service provisions centres. There are some people who take it upon themselves to hurt others, even strangers, as they are satisfied withs making stupid and unprecedented utterances. I have in mind some street vendors, guards, bus drivers or conductors who feel mandated to make careless utterances without a care about the amount of pain they cause to their recipients.
Ever wonder why a man leaves his suburb dwelling to pack his pot belly and state of the art vehicle in a shanty neighbourhood into the arms of his mistress? Well, one of the many reasons may be a search for peace, kindness and some tender care they miss at home. Trust me, words injure the most to drive someone insane and even out of the door. Some women are driven to the arms of another man and even out of their marriages to seek that attention, sweetness and care they miss from their partners, including that daily reminder of how much they have been changed from what they were before they met their ‘saviour’, what they would have been driving had it not been that vehicle bought for them, those food rations demanded by a provider and the control over who she talks or interacts with because of the support she receives from her ‘benefactor’.
We can be firm, yet, gentle in our speeches. That is what civility demands. Relationships can be built or developed from mere words. Again, they are destroyed from a single or several blows unleashed on partners or children in an attempt to correct a wrong. Well, brothers or sisters, the more you nag, curse, accuse and threaten anybody for you to put your message across, the more you grow apart and cause untold suffering.
Of course, notwithstanding the fact that if we are genuinely wronged, it does not mean we cannot take people to task. By this, I mean dealing with those parasites in your life that turn toxic at some point. There is a need to come out clear to call a spade a spade when the need arises because failing to do so may either sends wrong signals or misses on desired results. Many may agree with me that that there are those moments when brutality of speech is permissible in dealing with hardcore situations.
Nonetheless, let us strive for speech kindness and censorship and observe where this takes us.
